Stabguy's Ultra Adventures
by SuperFunkyMunkyKong
Summary: A guy looking for easy pay begins work as a Hunter. Hyjinx ensues.


A wistful wind blows through the factory. Workers all around are managing their assembly lines, doing their mindlessly monotonous task, as they do every day. This building is one where spirit and dreams come to an end for most. But one worker waits for his shot at greatness, hidden talents waiting within. This man is known as Pyre. Pyre's parents passed on when he was younger, and left to him the management position in their Potion Packaging and Combining Plant. While he has always worked hard, Pyre knew he was de-

Wait, wait. What am I saying? That's not the right one at all! No, we're looking at the guy loitering outside, digging through the trash bin with his pet cat. Yeah, the lanky one with the big nose, Randy. Randy was finally inspired to leave his home on the streets. After graduating from a prestigious school for fisherman, Randy decided to cut the bookwork and follow his childhood dreams of becoming a Hunter. ...Or, at least that's what he tells people. What REALLY happened was he dropped out of community college his first semester and figured Hunting was a job both in high demand and with good pay, both for obvious reasons. Perfect for him. The man raked through the garbage bin, looking for Potions that looked at least a bit intact to take with him on his first hunt. He had already made his very own Great Sword, using the ancient Smithy arts of grabbing some metal and taping it to a stick.

"YEAH! Finally, 6 Potions that at least sort of work!" Randy threw his fist up in the air. His Felyne companion showed off some bottles he had found. "Look here, I've got some as well." The anthropomorphic cat held out two paws, each carrying two Potions.

"Great, Nyowley! That'll get us through our first hunt easy!" The garbage search was successful. A whole 10 Potions, all for free? Randy really couldn't ask for better than this. Deciding he was ready to go, Randy strapped on his trusty Great Sword, tucked away his "earnings," and jumped the fence past the No Trespassing sign, ready to go on his first real hunt.

* * *

At a nearby Gathering Hall, things were business as usual. Hunters signed up for quests, ate and sat around, and drank like no tomorrow. A new face walked in the door however, one of a Greenhorn Hunter. No one so much as gave him a glance. While that made Randy sort of sad, not even being able to hear the Hunters' gasps at his muscular physique and obvious greatness, he understood being speechless at the sight of a future legend. He sauntered up to the Guildmaster, ready to register for his first Quest.

"Hm?" The Guildmaster glanced at the new arrival, then turned to greet him. "I've not seen you around here before. Lemme guess- You need to register to become a Hunter?"

"Yeah, of course! Just let me get through the paperwork, and then I'll be bringing in Elder Dragons like no tomorrow!"

The Guildmaster didn't seem too impressed. "Using _that_ equipment? That Great Sword barely even qualifies as a weapon! Does it even get to Yellow sharpness? What's it made of, anyway? It sort of looks like you tore a strip of metal off some scrap heap and taped it to a stick." Despite the Guildmaster's teasing and surprisingly accurate guess at the origin of his weapon, Randy shook it off. "Of course! And this here's my trusty Felyne!" Nyowley waved a quick "hello."

"...Well, we ARE in need of more Hunters as of late, considering the recent Frenzy epidemic... Eh, why not? Here, sign this thing. Oh, and don't bother reading it, it just says that if you die or are hurt or something, we're not-"

"DONE!" Randy and Nyowley had both signed the contract, taking it a step further than not reading it.

"Now hold on there, boys, you've still got to pick out your names! Some just go with their regular names, and others pick out "cool" names like _Edge_ or _Flame_ or something silly like that. Whatever it is, just write it up top here." He handed Randy a Guild Card with a picture of he and Nyowley already on it somehow. "Pretty nifty, eh? It automatically shows you and your fluffy companion in a number of different poses, all in your current gear."

"Yeah yeah great. Now then, what to pick for a name?" Randy hadn't really thought about this. He can't just go around as "Randy," that would be lame. He needed something cool to go by. After around 4 minutes of sitting about and doing nothing, he finally picked out a name.

"Yeah! I'll be known as... The Executioner!" He started to write it in, but ran into a problem. There's only 10 character slots allowed. "O-Oh. Well, that's okay, I can just erase it and start again." After a long period of consideration between something new or some Freedom Unite-level abbreviation, he decided to go with the name "Stabguy." While Randy was happy with it, Nyowley wasn't too thrilled. "Are you sure? That's what everyone will see your name as. You'll never be able to change it!"

"Pah! It's AWESOME!" Ran- Er, Stabguy retorted. Nyowley sighed, and quickly scribbled a name underneath Stabguy. The Guildmaster took a look.

"Hm, so you will be the new hunter... Stabguy... and his Palico companion... Fluffy? You, uh... Certainly sound like an interesting pair. I'm not one to judge, though. Good luck and all that. Go pick something from the Quest Board and do it." Their names became cemented on the Guild Card, and the mediocre hunting pair Stabguy and Fluffy were born.


End file.
